Quick and Accessible Tools for Managing in-the Moment Anxiety

Mary Feamster
3 min readAug 9, 2024

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Often in my sessions, I want to cover and check in about so many different elements of clients’ treatment. We may rehearse specific tools, process current triggers, track symptoms, name emotions, rehearse communication techniques, analyze patterns, gain insight into distorted thought processes… and on and on. I don’t always get to review or rehearse all of the tools that may have come up previously. However, I know that all humans usually take a few reminders and a few rounds of practice to put new, or different skills into use.

So, here are a few of my favorite tools for coping with an anxiety event. I hope these little reminders and rehearsals will be useful to folks who may be a few years into their anxiety journey as well as those who are just starting to figure out their diagnosis.

Tool # 1: Classic Deep Breathing

I absolutely love this tool because we can access it anywhere.

Close your eyes or sit down if you can. Place one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen. Picture a square in your mind. Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose, allowing your abdomen to rise as you fill your lungs. Hold for a count of 2: this is the base of the square. Breathe out fully, emptying your lungs, and imagine your breath tracing up the first side of the square. Your next deep inhale forms the top of the square, and the final, full exhale flows down the other side. Repeat as needed until your pulse slows and your thoughts quiet down a little. Deep breathing activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps to reduce the fight-or-flight response.

Tool #2: Progressive Muscle Relaxation

This tool is really useful when your mind is racing at night, or when you’re having trouble getting the anxious tension out of your body. It can also be helpful to recover from a panic attack.

Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) involves tensing and then slowly relaxing different muscle groups, gradually working through your entire body. Start with your feet. Tense the muscles in your feet by curling your toes as tightly as you can and holding for a count of five. Then, release the tension and focus on the sensation of relaxation for another count of five. Gradually move up through your body, tensing and relaxing each muscle group — calves, thighs, abdomen, chest, arms,shoulders, neck, and finally, your face.

Tool #3: Visualize your Safe Space

This tool is very important to EMDR, and can be used at anytime. I think this one is really effective for times when you may feel overstimulated, fearful, or disregulated.

Close your eyes and imagine a place where you feel safe and at peace. This could be a real location, like a favorite beach or a cozy room, or an imagined sanctuary. Focus on the details of this place — what you see, hear, smell, and feel. Maybe you can imagine the warmth of the sun, the sound of gentle waves, the smell of your favorite herb, or the feeling of a soft blanket. Spend plenty of time appreciating different details of this space that make you feel relaxed and peaceful. Consider how all of these elements make your body feel. This space can be a really useful tool to develop over time as a way to quickly access a feeling of safety and security when you’re feeling triggered or overwhelmed. Visualization can be a powerful tool to create some mental calm.

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Mary Feamster

Therapist, momma, lover of the outdoors. Here to talk openly about mental health.